Caregiving: It All Comes Down To One Thing

Jackie
Haugh

As an author who loves to write in memoir—it's the simple day-to-day nuances I find magical and awe inspiring—I witnessed a miracle of vast proportions while caring for my aging father that changed the trajectory of my life forever, and all because of “The Promise I Kept.” In 2003, a marker was called in on a promise I’d made thirteen years before—to never put my father in a nursing home. When the vow was made, I was a young mother with four small children and it was easy to say the words, “I promise, Dad.” A massive stroke several years before had severely limited his mobility. I adored my father and would tell him anything he wanted to hear just to alleviate his fears. And, if truth be told, I never thought I’d have to live up to my words. Though he had outlived my mother—unusual in our family where the men died first—I didn’t expect him to really need me for many years, but my journey began with my 88-year-old father, and for the next nine years I traversed the complicated, rocky road of duty to an aging soul.
Caregiving to an elderly parent has been described as “providing unpaid assistance and support to a family member.” While we know our parents will one day become old, I don’t think we’re ever fully prepared to reverse the roles of parent- child to child-parent. The thousands of books and articles available on the subject will only get you so far—how I was able to handle the day-to-day complexities was mainly by the seat of my pants. You learn what works for all concerned with a lot of trial and error. However, just as David Lettermen had his nightly top ten things, the following are the helpful ideas I discovered, which go beyond the day-to-day routine:

Read the entire article in the October 2018 issue of InD'Tale magazine.

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